Weight gain and self sabotaging, limiting beliefs

I’ve struggled with my weight ever since I can remember. I’ve also struggled with self love and body image issues since I was a pre-teen. I’ve been through therapy, counselling, countless programs, you name it… it’s taken me 15+  years to truly learn how to love and appreciate ME.The face you make when you’ve been back to your fitness routine and tightened the reigns on your eating habits for the last week and you still aren’t where you want to be!! haha jk jk I know it takes mass amounts of time, dedication and effort to get myself back to where I was 2 years ago. 2 Years ago I was training 6 days a week, eating super clean and very strict with myself. I enjoyed the fact that my body was strong and healthy, but I was out of balance and was missing certain aspects of joy in my life. I worked hard, it paid off, but I wasn’t 100% happy.

… Fast forward a bit.. A recurring back injury, depression and an autoimmune disease can really fuck with your plans! Let’s face it, I’m a work in progress. I always will be. We all are. That’s life, baby, ebb and flow, up and down, forward and backward. I will always work at bettering myself in one way or another. I’ll never be perfect, but guess what… I’m totally ok with that!! And you should be too! Don’t get me wrong, I love my body. I love what it has done for me and provided me with up until now. I love that my strong legs get me out of bed and walking, moving and shaking every single day. I love that I can have random dance parties in the kitchen with my kids any time we choose. I love my arms when they wrap around those I love and care about. I love that my hands allow me the sense of touch and ability to FEEL and hold. I love my eyes for giving me the opportunity to see all the beauty that surrounds me. I love my stretched out tummy because it allowed me to grow 3 little humans (how friggin’ awesome is that anyways!!).

It hasn’t always been like this, and I’ll admit there still are days when I poke my belly, make a sad face and wish it were leaner and tighter. Or when I wave to someone and I notice my arm jiggle and recoil quickly hoping nobody saw it. I still catch myself from time to time checking out other women wishing my body could look like theirs. If only I could just…  *insert excuse here*

“start waking up earlier so I can get to the gym that I have been paying for, but not using”

“control my eating habits so I don’t binge so much”

“{control my emotions so I can} not drink so much”

“afford a gym membership”

“have time to go to the gym”

I’ve heard them and said them ALL. Girl, I feel you. I know. I get it. It’s hard. It sucks. If only… This confidence that I’m talking about doesn’t come from hours spent at the gym though… this stuff comes from a MUCH deeper place than that. It comes with stepping into yourself and owning who you are and being DAMN happy about it.

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It has taken me A LOT of work to get to where I am now, and as you can see I still slip every once in a while (pssst… it’s ok to slip from time to time, it’s gonna happen, but guess what, we’re human, that’s how we roll). I’m FAR from perfect and I am far better off than I was a few short years ago. I am now able to pull myself back to reality and away from those negative thoughts quickly when I notice that I’m in it. You know what it feels like to be IN IT… I no longer linger. I no longer dwell and obsess over It. It no longer breaks me down for days, sometimes weeks at a time. It has taken me YEARS to learn how to love me for ME. Years for me to truly love and appreciate my body – stretch marks, jiggly bits and all. Years to understand that I, as a whole, am an incredible, miraculous, divine piece of machinery. This kind of stuff takes work – lots of it. It takes mass amounts of support, love, love, love oh so much love, self care and a whole lotta healing. It also takes a Village. A community. You *could* do it alone, but it would take you longer, but why would you when you don’t have to. Yes, it takes a lot, but it can totally be done.

I’ve spent years trying to figure it out – on my own I might add. I’ve spent the last few years piecing it all together in hopes that I can help others learn to love and appreciate themselves AND their body. I know my struggles have been put in front of me over the years so that I may use what I’ve learned along the way to help others. This is my purpose here on earth. This is my gift – to ease the struggle, to shorten the length of time YOU are stuck in that battle with yourself. To provide support, a loving hand, a shoulder to cry on, and a kick in the ass to remind you of how damn incredible you are when you forget, to be a cheerleader when you step into the ring and expose the parts that hurt… when you open up and become vulnerable and allow the healing process to begin. I’m not saying you won’t struggle, resist and want to stop along the way, you will. We all do. I’m not saying it will be easy, it won’t be. This is all part of the journey and all part of what makes us, US. Having these battles and working through them gives us strength, gives us hope and reminds us of how far we have come. These battles remind us that we are a gorgeous, rock star, badass woman and we can handle anything. We’ve survived everything life has thrown at us up to this point, right!? Maybe just barely at times, but gosh darn it, we’re here and we are ready!

If you’re in need of some self love assistance and a kick in the glorious ass (and who isn’t!!!) let’s connect. I’m a real woman, I’ve struggled, I still struggle. I know what’s up. I’m not going to sugar coat things and tell you it’s going to be a walk in the park, because I can assure you it won’t be. It takes courage to stand up to this kind of work. It takes lady balls to step into the ring and face your demons, look them in the eye and tell them to f-off. I CAN tell you that know I can help.

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I’m currently working on a program that promotes self love and healing. It is being designed to help stop the internal hate, the internal dialogue of body shaming. It is being designed to help you pull up and release old wounds and limiting beliefs (remember that time your step dad made a comment about having stretch marks on your thighs already when you were 12… the comment that started the flow insecurity and negative thoughts about your chubby thighs? ya… we’re going to face that and let. that. shit. go. 《– that was me, by the way) This program is being designed with YOU in mind, it is being designed to teach you how to truly love and appreciate yourself from the inside out. My goal is to have this program change the thought process and start a revolution and a wave of body-positive women everywhere.

I’m on a mission, ladies. Together we can make this happen. Together we can make a difference. Who is with me!?

Fill out the contact form and I will be in touch.

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