I am beautiful.
I am strong.
I am confident.
“There are a lot greater problems in the world than someone with enough confidence to feel good about themselves.”
Are you able to recite these affirmations to yourself? Close your eyes and try it.
Can you recite them while looking in the mirror? Try it.
If this is hard for you to do. If you struggle, if you can’t look yourself in the eyes or you just DON’T want to do it… try harder. Try daily. Try every time you pass by a mirror. Watch what happens. It won’t take long.
I can tell you from experience, the strongest people I know haven’t come from an easy past, far from… Their stories of personal growth and redemption can be enough to shake you. Wake you up. Light you up. Give you hope.
A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor”
~ Franklin D. Roosevelt
You should know that on some days, the word “beautiful” isn’t in her vocabulary and that some days just getting out of bed to function as an adult is a challenge. Some days even looking in the mirror to put makeup on is a struggle. Some days she can’t even stand looking in the mirror. period. Yet each day she gets up and she tries. Some days she has to ‘fake it ’till she makes it’ and some days she legitimately feels it, either way she tries.
You are enough.
“stupid bitch thinks she’s so perfect”
That girl just recently learned to accept and love her body. She knows she is not perfect, far from it, but she loves herself anyways. Before now, she never really saw herself naked, she has been programmed to feel ashamed of her body, she’s never fit the societal beauty standards. She’s never even cared to take a deep look at her body, heaven forbid she tries to learn or dare she explore. She’s kept herself hidden and locked away. She’s never had the opportunity to understand the miraculous piece of machinery her beautiful soul resides in. She is only starting to learn now. She’s just scraping the surface.
You are worthy.
“maybe if you put as much effort into your career as you do into your looks you’d actually amount to something”
That girl has spent most of her life being ridiculed and put down and made to feel SHAME for who she is based on what she looks like. She spent her childhood and a good chunk of her adult life being mentally and emotionally abused, by strangers, “friends” and from people she was made to believe loved her. She developed an eating disorder and major body image issues at a very early age and she has struggled with these issues and worked on them through years of therapy and counselling. She still battles daily with thoughts of shame towards her body and often still neglects her body the proper nutrients in fears of gaining weight. She is only just starting to honor her body and love it for all it’s flaws and perfect imperfections.
You are perfect just the way you are.
“you should read a book for every selfie you take”
That girl has spent the better part of her adult life working on herself. She has been diligently repairing her confidence after being torn down and walked all over for most of her life. She reads daily about the how-to’s of loving yourself and personal development, she practices affirmations, she tries her very best to stay positive and hopeful every single day. Some days are easy, some days she still struggles. It will always be like this.
For the first time in YEARS, if not EVER, she has finally felt enough confidence in herself to take a picture and feel good about it.
Your past does not define you.
“what a waste of space”
That girl didn’t think she was worth enough to walk away from unhealthy and abusive men / relationships. She was taught early in life that she is expendable and unimportant, easy to walk away from, so she has spent years involved with people who depleted her dignity and self worth. She wanted so desperately to hang on, thinking things would change, they’d get better over time. She lacked the confidence in herself to do move on and better. She stayed and took the abuse, not knowing she was worth so much more. She didn’t believe in her magic so she stayed on and let someone steal it from her.
You are loved.
You should know that some people will go through their entire life lacking confidence and failing to understanding their self worth, they may struggle to find their purpose, they may spend YEARS searching for TRUE joy or love and they’ll miss the mark every time because they haven’t figured out how to truly love themselves – that’s where it starts. That’s where it ALWAYS starts. They may never learn to appreciate the absolute miracle and beautiful soul that they are. They may not find their magic, see their spark, fill their heart. So when they do… let them. Let them bask in their light. Let them enjoy the beauty inside and around them. Let them feel that light of joy radiate from their inner being, from their heart.
Honour that. It’s a thing of beauty and needs to be respected.
It has likely taken countless hours and unheard of amounts of blood, sweat and tears to get them to where they are now and they should be fucking proud. That person has fought tooth and nail to be the person they are today and THAT, my friend, is an honour in itself.
I can relate to the above stories on more levels than I care to admit. Suicide and self harm were daily thoughts for the better part of the first 30 years of my life because I never felt good enough, strong enough, pretty enough… I never “fit” into the typical beauty standards. I never have been nor will I ever be anything below a size 8 and it took me until my 33rd year of life to realize THAT IS PERFECTLY OK. That is more than OK, that is fucking awesome because I now LOVE my body unconditionally and that means *gasp* I love my body at ANY size. Love. Support. Constant work. I’m not saying it was easy, not even close. I’ve put in many hours and immense amounts of work to overcome my limiting beliefs and doubting thoughts. I still struggle, some days more than others, but I’ve figured out systems to pull myself back. I will likely always struggle with these thoughts and that’s ok. I am aware of them and I know how to stop the cycle, usually before it tears me down like it once used to.
You are not alone. I do what I do to ensure that you know that. I suffered in silence for years, it’s not fun. Nobody should ever have to suffer alone. Reach out. Talk. Break the silence.
It’s ok to not be ok sometimes.
“LOVE YOURSELF LIKE IT’S YOUR JOB.” – because it is your fucking job!
~ Danielle LaPorte, White Hot Truth