While 2012 may not be THE chart topper for most amazing year to date, it does rank pretty high up on the scale of awesomeness. 2012 brought it’s own set of interesting challenges. I was liberated into believing in myself, empowered to leap off ledges, take chances and trust enough to go with my gut. Many, many changes and opportunities for greatness presented themselves…. Some I passed on, many I took advantage of and a few I had to hold my breath and say fuck it, let’s do this. It has been hella scary, emotional and draining, but also exciting beyond all hell and empowering to say the least. 2012 has surfaced many fears and insecurities, all of which I am proudly working through with clenched fists and gritted teeth, as well as too many accomplishments and moments of satisfaction to list.
“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves.”
As I move into my 30 year on this glorious planet, I feel I am moving closer and closer towards the real me. I feel I am finally coming into my own. I am learning to replace insecurities with confidence, lack of self esteem with full-blown authentic belief in myself and bitterness and anger with love and peace. It is my hope that with time these shifts will only snowball into more and more juicy awesomeness that will radiate out of me like sunbeams onto all I encounter so that they may pick up on it and carry it with them too!
In brief summary, 2012 brought me…
Kaleb – This pregnancy was tough. Like really tough. I already knew my marriage was less than stellar and the thought of being a single Mom of 3 children scared the shit out of me. I tried staying positive, being happy, but deep down all I felt was fear and despair. And then he was born and everything changed. Baby Kabub (as Alyvia prefers to call him) brought a super sonic light back into my life. The moment I laid eyes on him I knew it was all going to be ok. Better then ok. This was the start of something amazing. My prince had come. Life was just getting started.
Lucas and Alyvia – My little boy turned 8 this year! He’s shifted into such a handsome, studious young man. He lights my heart with each passing day. My baby girl turned 2. Terrible twos doesn’t even begin to describe what she has put me through this year, lol. I find it hard to believe that something so damn cute and tiny can cause so much chaos and frustration! But she is amazing and it’s those moments of I love yous and unprovoked hugs and kisses that make up for all the trouble she causes. My heart melts every time I look into those big brown eyes.
Usana – Probably one of the most challenging and scariest decisions I had made at the time, but one of the best decisions I have made to date. Usana brought with it many friendships and bonds that will last through lifetimes, the opportunity for me to dig through my personal shit, let go of the past and really find myself, the personal development to make me a seriously rocking business woman and the confidence in myself to prove to ME that I am worthy and I am enough. While I still consider my business in its infancy, I know 2013 is going to truly rock this sucker and make a big BOOM. I’m so stoked to watch this unfold, it’s unbelievable. It gives me goosebumps thinking about what’s in store here.
School – I went back!! Teaching yoga taught me that I had to help people, Usana showed me how I can reach many and work on a cellular level, but The Institute for Integrative Nutrition is showing me how to put it all together and do it all properly. I am so grateful for IIN, my fellow classmates and all that this institution stands for. I’ve truly found my purpose!
My Dad & little brother – After about 17 years, I was reunited with my Dad. I also met my little brother, Alex. well, not so little, lol, he’ll be 17 next year! It was a brief visit full of various emotions, but it was only the beginning of the rebuilding of these very treasured relationships.
Salt Lake City – The first trip of many to SLC with some of the most amazing and influential women I have ever met. SLC was a first for me. First time traveling and first Usana convention not to mention my first Apple product (thank you Usana for loving us so much and gifting us all our amazing little iPads!). I’m looking forward to lighting up SLC with my crew again in 2013!
Finally, I closed the door on a chapter that spanned 9 years. I spent 9 beautiful years with the most supportive and caring man I know. One of the hardest decisions made lately, but not one taken lightly or in vain. I look forward to spreading my wings just a little bit wider in 2013 to see what I am truly capable of without any fear or barriers holding me back.
I feel quite compelled to sit back and reflect on this passed year and gawk in wonder as I realize it is already come and gone and I am about to journey into one of the best years of my life. You know that feeling like you are teetering on the edge of something mind-blowingly amazing? Ya, I’ve had that for months. It’s an amazing feeling, but I’m ready to move forward. It’s go time! It’s time to light it up!!
“Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness.”
So, without further ado 2012, I bid you farewell. It’s been a slice, but I am now ready for all the amazing little gifts 2013 has in store for me.
Cheers to you all celebrating this night in style. Tonight I sit with my iPad, cozy slippers, warm hoodie and green tea and I am mapping out my future – goal setting and projecting for 2013.
What do you have in store for 2013?